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System Mechanics and Fusions
Mar. 10th, 2019 12:46 pm Hmmmm.. it is blog time again...
We have a chore chart that is laminated and all the boxes have to be filled out in order for us to get a star for the week. Eiolana made it to keep the system kids on track and make sure that no matter what we were exercising regularly and taking our vitamins and such.
One of the things on the chore chart is posting a blog entry XD
So here I am.. Posting the blog entry. Lol! I am so enthusiastic!
I don't actually know what to say or what to talk about.. and I am not even sure who I am.. which happens sometimes. I know there are kids around cause we had one of their favorite cartoons playing in the background.. and we were finishing a drawing this morning, which tends to lead to kids being around.. and during all that they were debating fusion names, because that is a favorite game the kids like to play.
We have it down to Elric, Briar, Misha, Teagan, Vivian, Jazz, Meris, Brynn, Key, Owen and Ukko. These are all Garnet type fusions from Steven Universe, where the basis of the fusion is our underlying love for one another.. and the fusion is entirely reversible. Also, just for a frame of reference, only two of the fusions on that list have ever actually fused: Elric and Briar. Conrad+Elowen=Elric. Bran+Phillis=Briar. [And now that I think about it, I realize I am Elric, how apropos for a fusion to be discussing fusions?]
Since we are 22 people there are a couple hundred possible combinations.. which is a lot.. Those fusion names are only for the "official" pairs.. Rules for pairings get complicated. and by the end of this I will have explained why "official" is in quotes.
[SIDE NOTE: There is also a Russian nesting doll phenomenon where people of a clan can sort of nest into each other.. but we don't usually give those nesting dolls a name.. they just have the name of whoever is the outer "doll." The only time this is an issue is when Finna begins to feel that too much credit if given to Phillis for some of the things that happened earlier on in our system discovery and she insists that she was a pat of "Phee" back then. She was hiding behind Phillis, because not only was Phillis the most fun to hide behind until she aged up to a boring teen, she is also Finna's older sister.
So yes, when we talk about Phee and the olden days of system discovery, it was not Phillis alone, there was a wee Finn behind her, adding her unique quirky energy.]
Anyway, the "official" pairings are made between members of different clans and are often of a romantic nature. There are three main clans and then a few outliers who make up a sort of fourth clan, except that unlike the other three clans they do not share a memory pool with their clan members and can not Russian-nesting-doll with each other. Clan members from the three main clans look similar to one another, particularly in the color of hair they have.
People within a clan are considered something akin to blood relatives, which is why pairings are only made between clans. Many people are already paired off, like Jax and Z. Each adult has a child counterpart, who is considered their son or daughter, which ends up making the children of the pairs, siblings. So Talia, being Z's daughter, is sister's with Phillis, who is Jax's daughter. A pairing between Talia and Phillis is impossible, because they are considered sisters through the marriage of their mothers.
The pairings are also not entirely set.. as a lot of the kids are not old enough to really be interested in romance.. but that has not stopped the children from playing matchmaker obsessively. The kids (mostly Finna, Sky and Talia) have gotten it down to eleven couples, which they have determined to be the most likely eventual pairings of everyone. And since making those the "official" pairings, they have plowed on ahead with finding names for all the potential fusions that these pairings could lead to.
So I put "official" in quotes, because they are the "official" pairings according to the three smallest girl children in Emmengard.
So there you go! XD
Every system has a unique set of underlying mechanics, dynamics and culture. Some systems operate more like a city government, or a bee hive, or an army. We operate like a tribe. All authority is extremely informal, but there are still customs that we all follow. There are mores and folkways. Cumulatively these can be looked at as sort of a system culture. And the culture of every system is entirely unique.
Obviously we are very casual when it comes to the idea of fusion, and I think that due to the push for integration from the medical field that that is not a relationship most systems have toward it.
I see systems that are either desperately trying to achieve integration, believing it will make them well or healed, and I see others who are vehemently opposed to integration.
I, personally, don't think either of these approaches is particularly healthy, because both are rather rigid. There is no give, no elasticity to either of these outlooks on integration, which isn't good. When we are feeling our way towards healing, we need an outlook that allows us to change, to choose within each given moment, what is best for us.
When we first heard abut integration and that it was the pushed for "solution" to plurality, we understandably had a very intense and angry reaction to it. It caused us a lot of anxiety. Ariadne in particular was furious about it. Z, ever the one to have a cool head about things, said that it didn't matter, that if integration was meant to happen, it would happen and it would feel like the most natural thing in the world. She said there was no use freaking out about it, because we were obviously not there, and might never get there anyway.
Her perspective on it allowed us to be flexible in our thinking, allowing us to make the right decisions for ourselves as we needed to.
And in the end, she was right. When I formed from Elowen and Conrad the first time it was very natural. And that doesn't mean I don't go back to being them individually either. I was Elowen just last week talking about the struggle to let go of the paintings. But when they are happy and around each other, they fall into being me without even thinking about it, without even meaning to. I am them, and also their love for each other. So even when they are unfused, I am still there. And when I am here, so are they.
The kids don't miss Elowen and Conrad when I am here, because they are not gone at all. and they don't miss me either when I unfuse. And since each Elowen and Conrad parent a system kiddo, when I am me, I am a single parent of two :)
Sky and Bjorn are my kids, and i love them very much. I actually think I am here because our little family of four was watching Bjorn and Sky's favorite cartoon while we finished up a sketch, and when Elowen and Conrad are around each other, they just fall into being me. Like Z said, "It is the most natural thing in the world."
However when I think about being me versus being Conrad and Elowen, what are the big differences? I have more memories... I am better in social situations than Elowen and a much better artist than Conrad, but I am just a person too.
There are benefits to being me and benefits to being them. Elowen and I both have a lot of anxiety, but when I unfuse it is easier for Conrad to calm Elowen down. That is honestly the number one reason I unfuse: the difference in how Elowen and Conrad handle stress.
By having a flexible relationship with fusion we are able to make the choices that are best for us in the moment. Also, we just don't take it that seriously in terms of it's finality and weight. It is serious, almost spiritual, and yet it is also something we let the kids play name games and matchmaker/fusionmaker with. We don't let it be a serious, heavy, suffocating thing. It is a happy thing. It has a sort of buoyancy to it. It simply feels right.
As we are feeling our way toward healing that is a feeling we trust. If something doesn't feel right, there is probably a reason for it. If the kids missed Conrad or Elowen, if I missed Conrad and Elowen, that would be a sort of red flag for us that something wasn't right, that something was missing, that perhaps they had fused for the wrong reasons, that the fusion was more about escape, or meeting someone else' expectations than a genuine and healthy transformation they had chosen for themselves and of themselves.
As it is, fusion for us simply feels jubilant. If you or any of your systemmates ever end up fusing or integrating, I hope you do so jubilantly.
Wishing you all the best,
Elric
We have a chore chart that is laminated and all the boxes have to be filled out in order for us to get a star for the week. Eiolana made it to keep the system kids on track and make sure that no matter what we were exercising regularly and taking our vitamins and such.
One of the things on the chore chart is posting a blog entry XD
So here I am.. Posting the blog entry. Lol! I am so enthusiastic!
I don't actually know what to say or what to talk about.. and I am not even sure who I am.. which happens sometimes. I know there are kids around cause we had one of their favorite cartoons playing in the background.. and we were finishing a drawing this morning, which tends to lead to kids being around.. and during all that they were debating fusion names, because that is a favorite game the kids like to play.
We have it down to Elric, Briar, Misha, Teagan, Vivian, Jazz, Meris, Brynn, Key, Owen and Ukko. These are all Garnet type fusions from Steven Universe, where the basis of the fusion is our underlying love for one another.. and the fusion is entirely reversible. Also, just for a frame of reference, only two of the fusions on that list have ever actually fused: Elric and Briar. Conrad+Elowen=Elric. Bran+Phillis=Briar. [And now that I think about it, I realize I am Elric, how apropos for a fusion to be discussing fusions?]
Since we are 22 people there are a couple hundred possible combinations.. which is a lot.. Those fusion names are only for the "official" pairs.. Rules for pairings get complicated. and by the end of this I will have explained why "official" is in quotes.
[SIDE NOTE: There is also a Russian nesting doll phenomenon where people of a clan can sort of nest into each other.. but we don't usually give those nesting dolls a name.. they just have the name of whoever is the outer "doll." The only time this is an issue is when Finna begins to feel that too much credit if given to Phillis for some of the things that happened earlier on in our system discovery and she insists that she was a pat of "Phee" back then. She was hiding behind Phillis, because not only was Phillis the most fun to hide behind until she aged up to a boring teen, she is also Finna's older sister.
So yes, when we talk about Phee and the olden days of system discovery, it was not Phillis alone, there was a wee Finn behind her, adding her unique quirky energy.]
Anyway, the "official" pairings are made between members of different clans and are often of a romantic nature. There are three main clans and then a few outliers who make up a sort of fourth clan, except that unlike the other three clans they do not share a memory pool with their clan members and can not Russian-nesting-doll with each other. Clan members from the three main clans look similar to one another, particularly in the color of hair they have.
People within a clan are considered something akin to blood relatives, which is why pairings are only made between clans. Many people are already paired off, like Jax and Z. Each adult has a child counterpart, who is considered their son or daughter, which ends up making the children of the pairs, siblings. So Talia, being Z's daughter, is sister's with Phillis, who is Jax's daughter. A pairing between Talia and Phillis is impossible, because they are considered sisters through the marriage of their mothers.
The pairings are also not entirely set.. as a lot of the kids are not old enough to really be interested in romance.. but that has not stopped the children from playing matchmaker obsessively. The kids (mostly Finna, Sky and Talia) have gotten it down to eleven couples, which they have determined to be the most likely eventual pairings of everyone. And since making those the "official" pairings, they have plowed on ahead with finding names for all the potential fusions that these pairings could lead to.
So I put "official" in quotes, because they are the "official" pairings according to the three smallest girl children in Emmengard.
So there you go! XD
Every system has a unique set of underlying mechanics, dynamics and culture. Some systems operate more like a city government, or a bee hive, or an army. We operate like a tribe. All authority is extremely informal, but there are still customs that we all follow. There are mores and folkways. Cumulatively these can be looked at as sort of a system culture. And the culture of every system is entirely unique.
Obviously we are very casual when it comes to the idea of fusion, and I think that due to the push for integration from the medical field that that is not a relationship most systems have toward it.
I see systems that are either desperately trying to achieve integration, believing it will make them well or healed, and I see others who are vehemently opposed to integration.
I, personally, don't think either of these approaches is particularly healthy, because both are rather rigid. There is no give, no elasticity to either of these outlooks on integration, which isn't good. When we are feeling our way towards healing, we need an outlook that allows us to change, to choose within each given moment, what is best for us.
When we first heard abut integration and that it was the pushed for "solution" to plurality, we understandably had a very intense and angry reaction to it. It caused us a lot of anxiety. Ariadne in particular was furious about it. Z, ever the one to have a cool head about things, said that it didn't matter, that if integration was meant to happen, it would happen and it would feel like the most natural thing in the world. She said there was no use freaking out about it, because we were obviously not there, and might never get there anyway.
Her perspective on it allowed us to be flexible in our thinking, allowing us to make the right decisions for ourselves as we needed to.
And in the end, she was right. When I formed from Elowen and Conrad the first time it was very natural. And that doesn't mean I don't go back to being them individually either. I was Elowen just last week talking about the struggle to let go of the paintings. But when they are happy and around each other, they fall into being me without even thinking about it, without even meaning to. I am them, and also their love for each other. So even when they are unfused, I am still there. And when I am here, so are they.
The kids don't miss Elowen and Conrad when I am here, because they are not gone at all. and they don't miss me either when I unfuse. And since each Elowen and Conrad parent a system kiddo, when I am me, I am a single parent of two :)
Sky and Bjorn are my kids, and i love them very much. I actually think I am here because our little family of four was watching Bjorn and Sky's favorite cartoon while we finished up a sketch, and when Elowen and Conrad are around each other, they just fall into being me. Like Z said, "It is the most natural thing in the world."
However when I think about being me versus being Conrad and Elowen, what are the big differences? I have more memories... I am better in social situations than Elowen and a much better artist than Conrad, but I am just a person too.
There are benefits to being me and benefits to being them. Elowen and I both have a lot of anxiety, but when I unfuse it is easier for Conrad to calm Elowen down. That is honestly the number one reason I unfuse: the difference in how Elowen and Conrad handle stress.
By having a flexible relationship with fusion we are able to make the choices that are best for us in the moment. Also, we just don't take it that seriously in terms of it's finality and weight. It is serious, almost spiritual, and yet it is also something we let the kids play name games and matchmaker/fusionmaker with. We don't let it be a serious, heavy, suffocating thing. It is a happy thing. It has a sort of buoyancy to it. It simply feels right.
As we are feeling our way toward healing that is a feeling we trust. If something doesn't feel right, there is probably a reason for it. If the kids missed Conrad or Elowen, if I missed Conrad and Elowen, that would be a sort of red flag for us that something wasn't right, that something was missing, that perhaps they had fused for the wrong reasons, that the fusion was more about escape, or meeting someone else' expectations than a genuine and healthy transformation they had chosen for themselves and of themselves.
As it is, fusion for us simply feels jubilant. If you or any of your systemmates ever end up fusing or integrating, I hope you do so jubilantly.
Wishing you all the best,
Elric
