When we were still fairly new, we met a system mate known only as The Shadow, very scary, very ominous.
Phillis was very small then and very spunky. She refused to be scared of The Shadow. She said that wasn't who she was, that wasn't who we were, and if he was in our head he was as much "us" as any of us were.
He wasn't bad, or evil, or a shadow at all. He was someone who needed help.
So, she declared a new rule in Emmengard. She said, "If a monster lingers at your door, you throw the door open, and invite them in for tea, because monsters are my best friends, and there is nothing that can not be improve by a cup of tea."

It was one of the bravest things I have ever seen. It was true bravery. It took far more bravery to give him a cup of tea than to run at him with a sword.
I am so thankful to have Phillis. And I am also incredibly thankful that we have "The Shadow" in our life. He is a wonderful person.
After this fateful tea party he took the name Jeriah. He got the help he needed, started talking to our therapist, and he is just simply amazing. He has gotten us through many trials, both before and since this tea party. He is a man I admire and respect, and, also, just plain enjoy. He is excellent company, in my opinion. I enjoy smart people.
I know "persecutor types" scare a lot of people. For us, it is a construct we don't really believe in. Jeriah would have fit into that box, but thinking about him that way wasn't helpful. He was just someone who was very hurt and angry. His logic and reasoning had been warped by trauma and the role he had been forced into in the system. He too was always trying his best, just like all of us.
It was just harder to see where he was coming from, and hard to see the good in him when he was so damn convinced he was bad. It took a child to see it.
I love our kids. They amaze me. They are tenacious, creative, undaunted spirits.
Littles and persecutors.. everyone is more than a simple category.
Take care,
-Ariadne (artwork by.... actually it was a group effort.. I am not sure.. I think mostly Makani)
Phillis was very small then and very spunky. She refused to be scared of The Shadow. She said that wasn't who she was, that wasn't who we were, and if he was in our head he was as much "us" as any of us were.
He wasn't bad, or evil, or a shadow at all. He was someone who needed help.
So, she declared a new rule in Emmengard. She said, "If a monster lingers at your door, you throw the door open, and invite them in for tea, because monsters are my best friends, and there is nothing that can not be improve by a cup of tea."

It was one of the bravest things I have ever seen. It was true bravery. It took far more bravery to give him a cup of tea than to run at him with a sword.
I am so thankful to have Phillis. And I am also incredibly thankful that we have "The Shadow" in our life. He is a wonderful person.
After this fateful tea party he took the name Jeriah. He got the help he needed, started talking to our therapist, and he is just simply amazing. He has gotten us through many trials, both before and since this tea party. He is a man I admire and respect, and, also, just plain enjoy. He is excellent company, in my opinion. I enjoy smart people.
I know "persecutor types" scare a lot of people. For us, it is a construct we don't really believe in. Jeriah would have fit into that box, but thinking about him that way wasn't helpful. He was just someone who was very hurt and angry. His logic and reasoning had been warped by trauma and the role he had been forced into in the system. He too was always trying his best, just like all of us.
It was just harder to see where he was coming from, and hard to see the good in him when he was so damn convinced he was bad. It took a child to see it.
I love our kids. They amaze me. They are tenacious, creative, undaunted spirits.
Littles and persecutors.. everyone is more than a simple category.
Take care,
-Ariadne (artwork by.... actually it was a group effort.. I am not sure.. I think mostly Makani)